self-portrait

'there is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself;

comfortable in her perfect imperfection. to me, that is the true essence of beauty.'

-steve marabol

sometimes i feel like a kid in a grown ups body.

i feel things deeply, i remember everything.

one day i'm silly, the next i'm serious.

some days i want to explore the world, 

other days all i want to do is curl up in bed....

all day.

i'm almost 22...in just a few weeks in fact, 

+ the struggle of who i really am is a real thing.

am i really old enough to be months away from finishing school?

i suppose i am.

when i was a kid, i really don't remember ever knowing what i wanted to be when i grew up.

i can't even remember writing who i wanted to be

i mean, couldn't i be everything i wanted to be between now + then?

when i first stepped on to byu-idaho, i thought i had it figured out.

i was going to be a kindergarden teacher.

i felt like that was where i would best fit in.

surrounded by children who understood that their opportunities were endless.

that choice changed though.

i realized i wanted something else.

communication major it was

+ that emphasis evolved from journalism to broadcasting to video productions.

i am so happy with my choice. 

but again, it's not my final choice.

i'm far from grown up.

i am guessing i won't feel truly 'grown up' until i feel 'grown up'

+ who knows when that will happen.

i longboard.

i sing.

i take pictures.

i create videos.

i love animals.

but i'm not the absolute best at any of those things.

every single day, i see another whose talent far exceeds my own

+ i'm slowly but surely becoming okay with not being perfect at everything.

or even becoming perfect at one thing.

i'm not a perfectionist.

ask my mother.

but i am content with being me.

are you happy with who you are?

if yes, then there is nothing to worry about.

at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is what you think.

if you are okay with you + you've done the best in whatever it is,

you should be quite content.

because like that steve guy said,

'there is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself;

comfortable in her perfect imperfection. to me, that is the true essence of beauty.'

self-portrait