when he leaves

lots of the days that jay works, he leaves when it's dark.

i'll be barely awake enough to remember his kiss goodbye.

i'll really wake up later,

knowing that he has been working for a few hours.

i married a hard worker.

i knew that when i was dating him.

i knew from the tar that would be left on his hands 

while we were engaged.

+ for the first few months while we were married,

i knew from how he would fall asleep almost anytime

we turned off the lights to watch something, 

that he was a hard worker.

jay, when we come back to California, 

makes pretty good money working as a roofer.

during that semester a year ago, when he worked in Idaho,

he roofed in snow, ice, negative temperatures.

he works here in the summers, 

when is 90's and higher,

his butt, hands & feet will get burned from the hot sun.

i knew he was a hard worker.

but a few weeks ago, jay asked me to come to work with him.

that's when i realized he was a hard worker.

i got on the ladder + started to panic.

i crawled on my hands + knee's for a while.

we laugh about it now, but i was seriously scared.

my heart would jump or stop whenever his foot would slide

+ he would look at me + laugh,

finding my reaction to his possible death,

a joke.

the sacrifice he makes every day for us is huge.

i am so grateful realizing that my husband is a hard worker for me.

will he do this the rest of his life?

no.

but i will not forget, for the rest of my life,

how he gets up just about every morning,

in a good mood, a smile, + usually laughing out our door.

i appreciate realizing.

ps. i love you.

when he leaves