you.

last night, a friend messaged me on facebook, 

asking if i could answer some marriage related questions 

for her.

no problem, i said.

i love talking about marriage.

as i started answering her questions, 

i found myself really thinking.

here are the questions:

1.What is the best part of married life so far?

For me, I wouldn’t probably be able to pin point the best part, but one of my favorite parts is that I always have my very best friend with me whenever wherever. Whether it’s a Saturday night or 2 am on a Tuesday, I get to share my life with someone I genuinely care about every single day.

2.What are some of the challenges of marriage so far?

A personal challenge for me is not comparing what I do for him vs what he does for me and not comparing what others do for their spouses and what I think I don’t get. It’s a constant thing in social media, to see the best parts of everyone’s lives and compare yourself to what you think others are always getting, but it’s not like that at all and I am always having to remind myself of that. Selfish of me, I know.

3.How realistic were your expectations about marriage prior to being married?

You know, I have always had high expectations for marriage. I literally had a seminary teacher in class tell me that I would learn that marriage wasn’t as fairytalish as I thought it would be. I was told that that honeymoon stage would wear off and that we would slip into a “norm.” While Jay and I have only been married for a year and a half, I can honestly say, it’s not wearing off. Life is good, marriage is great. You 100% make of it what you put into it. So for me, I would say my expectations to the world might have seemed unrealistic, but for me they were very realistic and real to me.

4. Prior to marriage, what were some of the things that made you nervous about marriage?

I kinda was nervous about committing myself to one person forever, but then I met Jay and I knew I never ever needed or wanted anyone else but him. I would say that I was nervous about getting married young. I wanted to be at least 23, but when my husband walked into my life at 19, getting married at 20 seemed just fine to me. When you know, you don’t let that person out of your life just because you have some “fears.”

5. Now that you are married, are you still nervous about the same types of things?

Defiantly not.

6. If you were making a list of things you wish you would have known about marriage before getting married, what would be on your list?

Go to bed angry. When it’s 1 am and you are tired and bratty, go to bed. No need to stay up and make it worse. Plus it usually comes out to be just fine and silly in the morning.

Don’t wish for a different time. Don’t say, I wish we were here or there, you’ll never have these precious times in your life again.

The guy isn’t going to spoon you when you sleep. I spoon Jay every night…that took a while to get over hahah.

Learn each others love languages and talk about them.

7. What advice would you give to a newlywed couple to help them with the transition to being married?

Record, take pictures, write down everything. One of my favorite things about jay and I is that we have SO much of our lives documented together and I love looking back. It’s an awesome thing to see over the years.

Have girl time. I have a pintrest day with one of my best friends and it is great. You need another girl you can take scare pregnancy tests.

Go to the temple together.

Enjoy being poor. Enjoy not having a couch, or a table, or a tv or chairs. I look back on those times and smile because we started off SO poor (still are so poor) and it’s made us really appreciate what we have now.

That being said, work your way up on things you want. Don’t just buy something expensive because everyone else is doing it. Save your money and spend it on something that will create memories.

Do not stop going on dates. Or pretending to hit on each other. Stay silly, stay goofy, stay weird.

BE SO SO HAPPY. This is some of the best times of your life. Enjoy them and soak it in. Life is so good to newlyweds that stay true to each other and God.

 ps. i know this was a long one. way to go if you got to here.

you must love me lots...or have some time to kill

you.